Addi

It was in October of 2005 that I saw the ad for a "Free deaf boxer to good home" sign in the ASL (sign language) lab at school.  Jokingly, I sent my roommate Jenny a text saying, "hey, wanna get a deaf white boxer?" At the time we were living in a small two-bedroom apartment in McKinney.  Jenny had her chihuahua Dixie and I had my cat Tabbytha (which was enough for the size of our apartment).  Of course, my spontaneous, willing-to-try-anything friend said, "sure." Later on that week we went to go "take a look" at him.  In the nicest terms possible, I can say that Addi's owner was an idiot.  If he wasn't 65 pounds (underweight), he would've thrown Addi at me.  He was so eager and willing to give him away.  He took me outside to the cage where Addi and another dog were living.  Sweet Addi, not even two years old, was absolutely out of control.  He came bounding out of the cage and immediately jumped all over me.  His owner struggled to get a collar on him and make him sit, but was largely unsuccessful.  I knew that we were in a tight spot.  I wanted a deaf dog - but Addi was so out of control.  Despite this, I was determined to make it work.

That poor dog....the only crate we had available was meant for a dog about half the size of Addi (indeed, it was the little Dixie's crate), but he scrunched up in there without complaint.  After we squeezed him in there and I shut the car door, Addi didn't keep his eyes off of me.  It's like there was an instant connection.  He knew I was there to rescue him.  My parents thought I was crazy.  Jenny's parents probably thought the same.  But I was stubborn enough to make it work.

The next few weeks were quite chaotic.  A neighbor of mine advised me to put him down, saying it was going to be impossible for me to do anything with him.  My stubborn nature (and lack of money) wasn't going to let that happen. Addi was probably on the worst diet imaginable and had horrible bouts of diarrhea.  I also noticed he had a hacking cough.  When I got him neutered and up-to-date on his shots, the vet informed me that he was heart worm positive.  My heart sank and I started to cry.  She assured me that treatment could be done, but it was very expensive.  Luckily, somebody tuned me into the the Kaufman County Animal Awareness Project where I was able to get it done much cheaper - but still, $250 to a broke college student is a ton of money.  I was starting to think I was insane for taking this on. Addi did fine with the treatment - but the 30 days of "no activity" was brutal for both of us.  It was a "go outside, come back in, sit in your crate" type of deal for 30 days.  We made it through with lots of stuffed animals and treats though.

One of the best things about Addi when he got older was the lack of noise he made.  Mind you, when I first brought him home he would bark incessantly (still wonder how he knew how to in the first place). Like I said before, Addi was out of control, but when he realized I could communicate with him via signs, we started to make progress.  Addi learned "sit," "home," and "stop" very quickly.  Over the first couple years he learned to keep his eyes on me at all times.  Up until his dying day, whenever I would let him outside, he would always keep his eye on the door in case I should open it.  After he would do his "business," he would sit like a soldier on the porch, watching the door until it opened.

We went through a lot of stuffed animals and a lot of bones in his younger years.  I could buy the biggest bone out there and it would be obliterated in 30 minutes or less.  Stuffed animals had less of a chance.  Nice dog beds were pointless.  This past year I just reverted to buying old comforters at the thrift store - they were cheap enough to buy several at one time, and then I could just throw them away once Addi tore them up.  We saw lots of car rides and lots of people.  Addi never met a stranger.  Everyone always loved him.  He was definitely my gentle giant.  The most harm he could ever do to somebody was knock them over.

It wasn't until after Addi's first stroke on 5-13-13 that I took him to the vet.  I was certain that I would have to let him go that day.  I was an absolute wreck.  My awesome veterinarian - possibly because he saw how distraught I was - tried to give me some hope.  Addi was on three different medications - one for blood pressure, one for inflammation, and an antibiotic.  Addi improved, but only for a short while.  I knew he had another stroke on Wednesday, 5-29-13.  His eyes were droopy and watery; his hips were turned under and he had trouble walking.  I knew he was in pain - and it hurt me to see him that way.  I felt helpless.  All I could do is pray.  God assured me that he was there with Addi and would keep him company.  I didn't expect him to make it through the night, but he was a fighter.  I made the decision to end his suffering on Thursday, 5-30-13.  The vet agreed with my decision, which helped me a little.  He said that if we were to do a CAT scan on Addi, we'd probably find a tumor.  Boxer's are infamous for cancers. The vet techs were amazing - asking me questions about Addi's past and what his favorite things to do were.  That helped.

I was there when Addi took his last breath.  I put my hand on his chest and felt it rise for the last time.  At 4:45pm the vet tech announced, "he's gone momma." I pet his sweet face and laid my head on his chest, sobbing and talking to him.  But in my head I could hear God's voice say, "you should see him now." I knew before I let him go that God would receive him. Matthew 10:29 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father." To me, if God cares about a little sparrow - something relatively insignificant - then why wouldn't he care about the pets that his children love so dearly? If I couldn't rest in that hope, then there's no point in loving animals to begin with. 

It's so very true that you don't fully realize how much something means to you until its gone.  My Addi was my baby before baby; my man before I married.  He was a lesson; he was a blessing.  He was the best dog. Despite our difficulties in the earlier years - we grew and matured together.  He was a constant in my life when things went awry.  Just like Addi always kept his eyes on me - its now my turn to always keep my eyes on the Father.  

There's always going to be something to remind me of him.  And yes, the tears will still come.  When a big dog like a boxer leaves your heart, there's a big hole left behind that can never be replaced or filled with another animal.  My sweet Addi-Beau gave me nearly eight years of struggle, stress, love and obedience.  He was a great dog, and he will be missed.  

Adicus Beau Breeden 

"Addi-Beau"

December 3, 2003 - May 30th, 2013 4:45pm

Relieved from suffering to run into the arms of God.