Empathy with Baby A

I'm starting to see a trend with this whole foster business.

When we get a new placement, I honestly feel like everything else has to go on hold.  I find myself dreading going out in public because I honestly have NO IDEA how this certain child will do in public.

Unfortunately, life doesn't stop when you're a full-time-working foster mom.
Groceries still need to be purchased.
The church nursery still needs its worker.
Errands still need to be completed.
Dinner still has to be made - and I have to remember to eat.
But its hard.  And it seems like the only people who understand are those who have experienced it themselves - other foster parents.

It's not like having a baby.  People are sweet and compassionate and say, "congratulations!" But truly, its just
Hard.
And yes, I meant to capitalize the "H" there.

I didn't have nine months to bond with this baby.  She had never heard my voice until Tuesday.  I don't know how much she likes to eat - how often she used to be fed.  I don't know what position she likes to sleep in. Does she like a certain type of pacifier? (apparently so!) And it's become certain that she has NO control over her arms and legs when she gets upset.  Those limbs go crazy! And she can't calm herself down.

Day by day, it gets easier.  But when the baby screams her head off in the checkout lane at Kroger, I honestly just want to stick myself in the darkest hole and forget about it all.  Because people just don't understand.  Thankfully, and by God's grace, a sweet couple helped me out this evening.  Baby A was screaming and refused to take the pacifier.  I couldn't break out a bottle.  I couldn't change her diaper.  It all had to wait until I could pay for the dang groceries.

The older gentleman behind me offered to hold her for me while I paid the cashier.  If only he knew how much that truly meant to me.  He patted her back, told her it was okay.  His empathy made a world of difference for me.

It's so easy to feel so alone in the foster care world.  Because let's face it - you don't know a foster parent when you see one.  It takes the sharing of personal experiences - the opening of a heart - to understand there is someone that understands what I'm going through.

So if you see a young woman with a screaming baby the next time you go to the store - take a deep breath for her.  She needs it.  She needs your compassion.  She needs your empathy.  Just like I did today.  You never know how far a kind gesture will go.