The boys will be leaving tomorrow to live with their grandma. The oldest jumped for JOY when I told him the news on Monday. This is the fresh start that they've been needing - the one that we've been praying for! We are so, SO excited for them.
The biggest reaction I get from people is one of, "oh, I'm so sorry!" or "that's so sad!" Our feelings are the exact opposite though! We are thrilled that they will be moving on in such a short period of time. We hope that the transition to a better life will be an easy one for them.
But it isn't all cupcakes and roses in the foster world.
Part of the reasoning in our feelings is because it has been a HARD and challenging six weeks with our family of five. Some think that having two foster kids and one bio kid is just like having three children that are yours. But I've got to tell you - it is SO far from being the same. In the "typical" way of having children, you have about nine months to bond with your baby - to sing to them in the womb, to get their room ready, to dream and dream about the life they will share with you. Having foster children is nothing like that. In both of our placements so far we were minding our own business, get a phone call, and two hours later have two more children to care for. No idea what they like to eat. No idea what allergies they have. No idea what they like to wear. If they've ever brushed their own teeth. Ever been to the doctor. Are they wearing underwear? Scratch that - WHY aren't they wearing underwear?! Living a life that we know and are comfortable with, then caring for two complete strangers for an un-designated period of time. Foster care is HARD and it is STRESSFUL. Especially for the newbies like myself.
With that in mind - I've been asked several times if we'll do the same thing again. If we'll be open for the same thing or change our preferences now that we have gotten our feet wet. At first my answer was to change our preferences - but foster care isn't about my comfort. It isn't about us period. It's about the children.
My Ray said it so appropriately - "don't think about how hard it is for us; think about how hard it would be for them if we weren't here."
So. True.
So here we are. I'm sure the house will be a TON quieter tomorrow. I might get a little sentimental, but I'm trying not to be. Keeping my focus - moving forward. We will take a little break, then request to be put back on the openings list. Then, we wait again. Hopefully, this time for a GIRL that will steal my heart forever.
God has lead us here. We are not alone. He has brought us through the past six weeks. God has helped us be the bridge that these boys needed when no one else would take them in. Foster kids NO MORE. And hopefully, with God's grace - never, ever again.
