Who needs two bladders, anyways?

No matter the situation, I always try to find a little humor.  That explains the title.

Last weekend I was a little puzzled as to why I didn't have much of an appetite - not even for my homemade chocolate chip cookies that I made.  On Sunday I stayed home with Micah because he was running a fever - and I ended up taking TWO naps that day and still felt exhausted.  Monday was fine, but still no appetite.  On Tuesday I was at the office in the afternoon and started having what I thought were gas pains.  Took some gas-x, but the pain got worse and worse.  I had to go home early and called Ray to get off work to go pick up the kids.  The pain was SO horrible I couldn't even stand up straight.  I almost went to the emergency room but waited to see if the pain subsided - and it did.  On Wednesday I felt like I had been run over by a semi.  I was weak.  I was dizzy.  Still no appetite.  I just felt ill.  Thursday was better; didn't really have pain until the afternoon when I (finally) went to see the doctor.  My doctor had imminent concern about my gall bladder - which is what I figured it was.  He tried to get a sonogram completed that day, but wasn't able to schedule anything until Friday morning.  The lady that completed my sonogram pushed on my side until I thought I would burst - it hurt so bad!!!

Of course - like just about all my health issues - all the blood work and the sonograms of my abdomen came back NORMAL.  But my doctor (who actually called me himself to share the results) is still convinced it's my gallbladder.  He advised that I go on a clear liquid diet (basically fast for two days, drinking only water) to see if that helps.  He really wanted me to go to the ER for further testing and see if surgery would be appropriate this weekend - but I was able to sneak away with fasting for two days and checking back in on Monday.

So here I am - still no appetite (which makes fasting easier), and the pain is just as bad as it was yesterday.  No difference.  Thankfully I'm still able to function, but can't lift anything heavy (like a Mr. Micah).  My mom informed me that Sjogren's can cause chronic gall bladder disease.

This year has been a doozy as far as my health and stress levels go.  I've been trying these past two weeks to schedule time off from work - and it looks like my scheduling didn't mean anything if I have to have emergency surgery.  Bah.  I'm just hoping I'll be well enough to do the music for vacation Bible school on the 11th.  Only God could make that happen!

I know I'm in His hands.  I know that whatever He's doing right now is for my good.  Yes, I'm in pain - even more pain than usual.  But I know He'll use this to bring Him glory and honor and to help others in the future.  I'm so grateful I have His promises to hold onto no matter what organs I have to give up.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Six weeks in

It's be quite some time since I've posted much about anything.  Baby A has been with us for just over six weeks now.  I hope I never forget the night she came to us.  Ray put her in the baby swing as we filled out paperwork with CPS.  Her arms were flailing the entire time she was in that swing.  It was clear she had never been in one before.  She couldn't process the movement.  I offered a pacifier repeatedly, but she couldn't keep it in her mouth.  She would often cry frantically until she wore herself out - and nothing would stop the crying but herself alone.

The day after we got her was Wednesday, and I (as a brave soul) took her to church.  I had nursery duty that night, so I was able to stay in the nursery with her - as if that could have helped anything! Close to the end of service she started to lose it.  I offered a bottle - pacifier - swaddling - diaper change - everything I could think of, and nothing worked.  She had a GINORMOUS meltdown for the whole church to hear.  I admit I lost it too and started crying.  All I could think to do was hold her arms to midline, hold a pacifier in her mouth, and "shhhh" loudly in her ear.  After a few minutes of eternity, she calmed down.

The first three to four weeks are the hardest.  It took us a while to get to know each other; to get into a routine; to establish our patterns.  But baby A has made amazing progress since being with us.  For example:

1. She can hold herself up in a supported sit for about five minutes.
2. She can do tummy time for 30-45 minutes at a time. 
3. She's responding (and calming) to her name.  
4. She'll calm and stop crying when I walk in the room.  
5. She's holding her own bottle (with a little bit of help here and there).  
6. She's rolling onto her sides from her back.  
7. She can fall asleep by herself and hardly ever fusses.  
8. She doesn't need a pacifier - and often spits one out ;)
9. She will smile and drool all over you if given the chance.  
10. She's sleeping through the night (!!!!) 

I ask for deep, DEEP prayers for her mother.  I don't know her name and I've never seen her face; but I know she loves and misses her baby (certainly?) She hasn't made a single visit with baby A since she's been with us, but today she actually showed up at the CPS office for one!  It had to be rescheduled because baby A was in daycare - so hopefully mom will show up again tomorrow morning.  PLEASE pray for baby A's mom - that she'll get things in order - that God will restore the natural affection and responsibility she should have for her children.  

We've been asked frequently if we'll adopt baby A if it ever comes to that - and if God sees fit, we most certainly will!  Everything is in His hands and He is in control.  We've had a name picked out for years (even before we had kids) for a baby girl - either McKayla Joy or McKayla Christine.  Ray has always wanted a daughter named McKayla; and the middle name comes from a promise I made 15+ years ago to Joy (Bailey) Smith to name one of my kids after her.  I may not keep all promises, but I honestly intend to keep that one! 

God is in control.  He has lead us here.  He lead baby A to our home to bring us joy and remind me how much work a baby is (I asked for it, I know).  I hope we'll get to see her grow more and more; but I honestly hope more that mom will be able to get her back and stay on track.  After all - every mom, every dad - should be responsible for holding that title to its fullest extent.  Baby A is meant to be with her mommy; but if she isn't able, we will gladly step up in a heartbeat.