Tomorrow will mark six months since sweet Jesse went home. I've been thinking about it all week. I'll never forget the day I got the news. I'll never forget that sweet face. Sweet Jesse was such a blessing and a light to my soul, if only for a moment.
I reflect back on the past six months of this year, and they've been rough. Shortly after Jesse went home, I had to let my Addi Beau, my sweet Deaf Boxer boy, go as well due to two strokes (and probably a brain tumor as the culprit). April and May were very, very rough months for me. The following months after Jesse and Addi's passing, my heart was deeply wounded. Many non-Christians often think that a loving God would never let "bad things happen to good people." But God was working. It was during those months that I had to lean on Him to see me through. God broke my heart by taking away three things - a sweet precious baby, my dog I had rescued and loved for eight years, and the dreams of having another baby of my own. Yes, I can say that God "took" them - because all things belong to Him in the first place. God's plan is always perfect. God never makes mistakes. If my heart wasn't broken - if I had no where to turn but Him - my heart would have never opened up to children in need.
Six months. That seems like such a short period of time, but so much has happened.
God is still working. With every orphan child's face I see, I'm reminded of how much God loves them. Sweet children - who never asked for their situation; never asked for their circumstances that have led them to where they are. Innocent lives that deserve a better tomorrow. God never closes one door without opening another. He closed the door on portions of my life these past six months to open my eyes to what blessings lie ahead.
"...nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." 2 Timothy 1:12
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Home Study, etc.
Tonight after reading our Bible story and saying prayers, Micah sat in my lap and was playing with my hair (if only he could really "picks it" ((fix it)) like he says he is). I pointed to the playpen I have set up in his room and asked, "Micah, what is that in here for?" He pondered for a minute, then said, "mmm....poster tid?" (foster kids). I am so humbled by my sons love for others. Over the past several weeks we have truly seen him blossom in his love and care for others. That kind of spirit can be taught - but I believe it is mostly a gift from the Almighty Himself. Only God can love others unconditionally - and my sweet son is a picture of that love. Love without discrepancy - love without prejudice. I love how my son loves.
Just had to brag on my boy for a minute. Now to the juicy details of our home study that so many are wondering about. :)
Our home study was scheduled for 5:00 last Thursday. At 5:00, I get a call from our "home study person" (I don't know what her title is, honestly) saying that she was coming from the Denton area and was running late.
I went to school in Denton for five years....I knew she wouldn't be there until close to 6:00. Sure enough, I was right. She said she wanted to make up for lost time, so she would try to get through the interview questions before walking through the house. The interviews went fine (it was separated into a couple interview and individual interviews). After the interviews, she did the walk through our house.
Let me pause here to say that Ray and I were truly expecting (and planned for) a thorough walk through - with the "person" opening every door, every drawer, checking every single detail on every one of the checklists that we were given as a guide (there are about five checklists that go into what is required for fostering). Expecting her to go through our house with these checklists, I nearly memorized all of them to ensure every detail was complete. So - I was more than a little shocked when she handed ME the checklists and told me to fill them out and sign at the bottom. Shocked. This wasn't the intrusive home study we were imagining at all. So much of it was based on the honor system - which I guess makes sense considering we are dealing with a Christian agency.
We were told ahead of time that the home study would take 4-6 hours to complete. Ours lasted about three hours. I think this was partially due to the fact that it didn't actually begin until 6:00 and our "person" was probably tired. Not only did she drive from the Denton area, but she also worked a full day prior to that. I would be exhausted too! I did truly appreciate her coming out though. She was very kind, considerate, and didn't judge. I felt like we could be open and honest with her, and we were.
I knew going through the home study that SO many people were praying for us. I know that the home study wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did if the prayers weren't there. We serve an awesome God folks! He has met our every need through this process and I know He will continue to do so.
So, what's next? Well - at this point we are about 1-2 weeks from being licensed. We have our last training on Thursday evening. After that, it's just a waiting game. Waiting on "the call." Waiting on God to bring us the right children He wants us to care for.
I do have one more prayer request, however. The last thing we have to turn in is a couple book reports. Really, these aren't even long enough to be considered "reports." They are just paragraphs. The painstaking part of this is (since its based on the honor system), we have to read a couple books. These reports are the last piece of our foster-adoption-license-process. And I *strongly dislike* reading! It's horrible!!! I made A's and B's in college - and that is due largely to the fact that I READ. I read text books like there was no tomorrow. But reading these books is SO difficult for me! Please pray for me that I'll find the time and have the endurance to read these books so we can get licensed. Its such a pitiful thing to lack for starting our ministry.
Thanks to all for the prayers and support - I can hardly wait to have another little blessing in our house. :)
Just had to brag on my boy for a minute. Now to the juicy details of our home study that so many are wondering about. :)
Our home study was scheduled for 5:00 last Thursday. At 5:00, I get a call from our "home study person" (I don't know what her title is, honestly) saying that she was coming from the Denton area and was running late.
I went to school in Denton for five years....I knew she wouldn't be there until close to 6:00. Sure enough, I was right. She said she wanted to make up for lost time, so she would try to get through the interview questions before walking through the house. The interviews went fine (it was separated into a couple interview and individual interviews). After the interviews, she did the walk through our house.
Let me pause here to say that Ray and I were truly expecting (and planned for) a thorough walk through - with the "person" opening every door, every drawer, checking every single detail on every one of the checklists that we were given as a guide (there are about five checklists that go into what is required for fostering). Expecting her to go through our house with these checklists, I nearly memorized all of them to ensure every detail was complete. So - I was more than a little shocked when she handed ME the checklists and told me to fill them out and sign at the bottom. Shocked. This wasn't the intrusive home study we were imagining at all. So much of it was based on the honor system - which I guess makes sense considering we are dealing with a Christian agency.
We were told ahead of time that the home study would take 4-6 hours to complete. Ours lasted about three hours. I think this was partially due to the fact that it didn't actually begin until 6:00 and our "person" was probably tired. Not only did she drive from the Denton area, but she also worked a full day prior to that. I would be exhausted too! I did truly appreciate her coming out though. She was very kind, considerate, and didn't judge. I felt like we could be open and honest with her, and we were.
I knew going through the home study that SO many people were praying for us. I know that the home study wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did if the prayers weren't there. We serve an awesome God folks! He has met our every need through this process and I know He will continue to do so.
So, what's next? Well - at this point we are about 1-2 weeks from being licensed. We have our last training on Thursday evening. After that, it's just a waiting game. Waiting on "the call." Waiting on God to bring us the right children He wants us to care for.
I do have one more prayer request, however. The last thing we have to turn in is a couple book reports. Really, these aren't even long enough to be considered "reports." They are just paragraphs. The painstaking part of this is (since its based on the honor system), we have to read a couple books. These reports are the last piece of our foster-adoption-license-process. And I *strongly dislike* reading! It's horrible!!! I made A's and B's in college - and that is due largely to the fact that I READ. I read text books like there was no tomorrow. But reading these books is SO difficult for me! Please pray for me that I'll find the time and have the endurance to read these books so we can get licensed. Its such a pitiful thing to lack for starting our ministry.
Thanks to all for the prayers and support - I can hardly wait to have another little blessing in our house. :)
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Tears of Joy
"Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear: To judge the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may no more oppress." Psalm 10:17-18
This verse plays in my mind over and over again as I consider where we are right now. I got an email today letting us know that we have been assigned a "home study assessor," (if I could give her a title) that will be completing our home study. We should be getting a call very soon from her to schedule our home study. At this point, we are about four weeks away from being licensed as an "open" home.
As I read through the email detailing the elements of the home study and what to expect, I began to cry. All I could think about was how God had heard my desire to have another child, and He has provided a way where there seemed to be no way. Mind you - the journey to get here was a very painful one. The pain of infertility can only be understood by one who has been through it.
God had to break me to bring me here. He had to crush my dreams and help me discover new ones. God created a person so broken that I had no reliance on anyone but Him.
God is my Provider. It is only through His provision through many people that we have been able to come this far. It is because of the generous hands of those around me that we will welcome a child (or two) into our home. God only knows who those children are - but our hearts are ready for them. Our hearts are waiting for them. The heart within me that God broke is now fitting the pieces back together again. He will show me the way to heal the hearts of children that come from hard places. It is only by His strength - His will - His plan - His purpose - that I can accomplish anything and everything.
"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence." Colossians 1:16-18
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