Tears of Joy

"Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear: To judge the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may no more oppress." Psalm 10:17-18

This verse plays in my mind over and over again as I consider where we are right now.  I got an email today letting us know that we have been assigned a "home study assessor," (if I could give her a title) that will be completing our home study.  We should be getting a call very soon from her to schedule our home study.  At this point, we are about four weeks away from being licensed as an "open" home.

As I read through the email detailing the elements of the home study and what to expect, I began to cry.  All I could think about was how God had heard my desire to have another child, and He has provided a way where there seemed to be no way.  Mind you - the journey to get here was a very painful one.  The pain of infertility can only be understood by one who has been through it.

God had to break me to bring me here.  He had to crush my dreams and help me discover new ones.  God created a person so broken that I had no reliance on anyone but Him.

God is my Provider.  It is only through His provision through many people that we have been able to come this far.  It is because of the generous hands of those around me that we will welcome a child (or two) into our home.  God only knows who those children are - but our hearts are ready for them.  Our hearts are waiting for them.  The heart within me that God broke is now fitting the pieces back together again.  He will show me the way to heal the hearts of children that come from hard places.  It is only by His strength - His will - His plan - His purpose - that I can accomplish anything and everything.

"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence." Colossians 1:16-18