Our Story:
We were very blessed in April 2011 when our son Micah was
born. We had absolutely -zero-
difficulty conceiving Micah and were actually surprised by how easy it was!
Once Micah was about three to four months old, we thought about trying to have
another baby (as crazy as that thought now seems looking back on it!) We soon
realized that conceiving the second time around wasn’t going to be as
easy. Honestly, this didn’t bother us;
between the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives and work schedules, one thing
after another always popped up that made us say, “thank goodness we don’t have
another baby!” At the time Micah was born we were living in a quaint
three-bedroom house of 1200 square feet.
Adequate enough for two adults and one child; but no room for another
baby. This also added to our “it’s okay”
mentality for not having another baby.
We briefly discussed the idea of adoption, but never pursued it,
thinking it would be too difficult or too expensive. I always believed that “what happened would
happen” and in leaving my/our future in God’s hands. I knew that if God wanted us to have another
baby, it would happen in His own time.
I went to my gynecologist for my annual exam last year
(2012) and no problems were found. I
contemplated several times about seeking fertility treatments; but I did not
want to put all of my “eggs” into a “fertile” basket with no guarantees. I didn’t want to be one of “those women” who
spends thousands upon thousands of dollars and faces treatment after treatment
to have a baby. I also didn’t see the
sense in pursuing options of having another biological child when I knew there
were children out there that needed a home.
The lack of other options really boils down to one central aspect: I
didn’t have peace with going through fertility treatments, and I couldn’t move
forward with something I didn’t have peace about. Our preacher once told me that you know
you’re living in God’s will when you have peace; so I knew there was something
else around the bend waiting for us.
It wasn’t until the beginning of this year (2013) that
something in my heart was stirred. Not
just stirred – but truly grieved. I saw
friends having second and third children so easily and quickly – and it
hurt. It hurt the very depths of my
heart. I yearned for another child – I
wanted another child so deeply; but I felt as though I was out of options. My heart was truly broken as menstrual cycle
after menstrual cycle came. My heart
gave up on having another child; but it was still hard to accept.
Shortly after we moved into our new house in December,
2012, I started attending our neighbor’s women’s Bible study that they host out
of their house. They were covering
Genesis when I jumped into the study. I
didn’t know it at the time – but God was at work. God not only blessed us with awesome, godly
neighbors – but God put us in just the right place at just the right time. We came to the story of Abraham and Sarah. Reading through that story and listening to
the associated podcast truly changed my heart.
God showed me through that study that good things are worth waiting
for. God also showed me that Sarah only
had one son – and that son truly made a difference for all mankind. The Bible never mentions Sarah’s emotions
after having her only son Isaac – but it made me realize that she was truly
happy with what God had given her. I
didn’t have to have a large family to be happy.
My duty as a mom was/is to invest as much about God as I can into my
only son so that he can leave behind a legacy.
This gave me peace.
A couple that used to go to our church started sending
out emails about their “adoption journey from China” in April, 2013. I would briefly skim over these emails and
didn’t think much of them to begin with.
I think this is mostly because I didn’t want to learn more about
something that wasn’t possible (again thinking that adoption was way too
expensive and impossible). I didn’t want
to give myself false hope. But - I
started to pray. I prayed for my heart
and for the heart of my husband. I asked
God to open our hearts and our minds to adoption if that was what He
wanted.
In May, 2013 I started seeing a little girl adopted from
Haiti for speech therapy services (I work in Early Childhood Intervention as a
speech-language pathologist and work with children who are birth to three years
old). I have worked with adopted/foster
kids before and have always been eager to learn how to teach them to
communicate (since these skills are usually absent in 0-3 year olds who have
been abused/neglected). Little “H” (name
changed for privacy) was a bright, vibrant little one who was recently
diagnosed with severe-profound hearing loss in both ears. Her adoptive mom had no idea when they
brought her home that she was Deaf; it was “conveniently” left out of her
history according to the orphanage she came from. The little two-year-old was already picking
up signs and showed awesome potential for communicating. Again – God was working.
In July I stopped seeing “H” for speech therapy due to
insurance issues with her therapy. I
emailed her adoptive mom a couple weeks afterwards just asking for advice and
general info on adoption. She emailed me
back with the surprising news that she was actually a missionary in the states
that helped families through the foster/adoptive process. I was blown away! Right then and there I knew
God was moving us in a specific direction.
I remember telling the mom (Tiffany S.) – “I have no idea what I’m
doing – but I’d like to learn more.”
And now, here we are.
I have never had more peace and more joy than I do in this moment. I know God has led us to where we are right
now for a purpose. God’s plan is always
perfect. His plans never falter. The joy that fills my heart when I think
about our next son or daughter has been worth my heartache. Now – my heart aches to hold that sweet child
against my chest and tell them, “it’s okay.” My heart yearns to sweep that
precious child in my arms and give them the love they deserve. Do we know what we’re doing? Not really. Do we know what we’re getting ourselves
into? Absolutely not. But are we where we should be? Without a
doubt – yes. And there’s no better place
to be than right in the middle of God’s will.
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